As another year draws to a close, the time has come for New Year’s resolutions. Usually this process takes on some great sense of archaic tradition, the sense of being chained to my cosmic promises, weighing the guilt potential should I fail. This generally causes the decision process to stretch days into the new year, which I am sure can be considered cheating. Other years, I try to follow the supposed “rules” and think something up at midnight. I watched my husband start compiling his list last night. It would be really interesting to know which is the original procedure for making these promises to myself, but I suppose I will never know.
This year I had intended to lose fifteen pounds. I thought it was a nice goal, and a bit more ambitious than if I had set out to lose ten pounds. Things seemed to be on track. I lost ten pounds, some in chunks during allergy season or over the summer when I felt like it was too warm to eat much. I used the website http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ to track calories by logging what I ate and how I exercised, watching the progress of my efforts pan out on a chart. The problem was that I was unaware that the scale I was using was nine pounds lighter than it should have been. After I confirmed this discrepancy, I was thrown off, to say the least. I stopped looking at the site, disgusted by how inaccurate my little fish ticker was. I purchased a digital scale at a church yard sale and confirmed that I had lost less than I thought, compounded by the disappointment that I had no way of knowing where I had even started. I lost my focus and have probably gained some weight since then.
The bright spot in this story is that 2012 is at its close. I want a do-over for my goal. This year I want to look at my scale more often, rethink behaviors that I know are destructive, and take more of an interest in my health, both mental and physical. I would like to lose fifteen pounds this year, but I would love to be better.