Most Likely You Go Your Way and I'll Go Mine

Author:  Ben Tanzer

The first thing I thought when I finished this book was, that I saw the ending coming relationship-wise. It matters, not because I need a shock at the end of every book I read (I really don't). It matters because there is a natural progression to the end, and it feels like there would be loose ends if it ended differently. The couple that ends up together at the end have to work for what they have, to quit looking at the little things for evidence that they should be together and just go with where they are being driven, to see that their brokenhearted balms only inflame the injury they ultimately inflict upon themselves. With the other couple, it is pretty clear what their functions are in the story, and that was fine, if not mildly comforting. Not everyone reaches a state of relationship stasis at the same time, and a double-wedding ending would seem contrite.

I liked the indecision, the way at this age you never know what you should really do, especially when everyone else around you seems to know better. When Geoff asks his co-workers, they each speak in turn in a succinct succession, and they all bring their job title-shaded "expertise" to the table, even though they are just as lost as Geoff. they tell him what they would do, how they would want things to be, but they expose a bit of maturity in not telling him he has to do it their way despite the general immaturity of these suggestions. Jen has her sister and best friend to guide her, who falter along the paths of their own love lives but she still wonders if she should model after them. These are very real examples of how we use peer pressure to make decisions in our youth, and sometimes beyond.

Geoff and Jen also look to their parents, while acknowledging the parents' choices have led to dysfunction but still wanting to turn to the one who has helped them since their birth. I was a bit surprised to see the parents' ability to overlook their children's active sexuality when they feel like they may need to move on or when they move too quickly. Perhaps this is because I am from a small town with parents who are sexually conservative that I can't really talk to about intimate matters...even if I wanted to. This parenting model in the book feels like it comes from a place of personal liberation. Still, I was glad to see a model of caring parenting with lots of honesty. They seem a bit too much like friends at times, as is the case in some parent-child relationships, but they ultimately truly want the best for their children. Steven is a good addition because he not only fills out the story a bit more; he also shows that most parents will not give up on a child even when they struggle so greatly.

What I didn't like was the incredible sameness of the characters at times. They all have their own things going on and individual things to work out, but some things are a bit too close. Both Geoff and Jen had a parent move out when they were children. Geoff and Jen are paralyzed at times by their own neurosis and indecision. These are questions that enter every relationship, but they feel them at the same time from the start of the relationship. They both rely on a parent and either a group of friends or a friend and a sister for advice that gets them nowhere most of the time. This is realistic, but I would like to see maybe one struggle more individually or have a more adept sounding board board to switch things up. The uncaring girl with the tattoo was a good way to switch things up and to demonstrate to Geoff what not to want.

At first I mistook the brief chapters as laziness or ineptitude, and then I saw the genius of being able to switch between perspective so neatly, which is something I think a lot of other authors have a problem with. Also, the short snips and resulting disjointed feel of the quick switching of gears says something more of the inattention of youth and the aimlessness of those who are uncertain. I'm glad sometimes the jumps also served to move to a different point in time. This probably eliminated some filler in a book that keeps to a snappy clip. I think it is somewhat courageous to take a chance with a tableau-like series of vignettes instead of just moving beginning to end and acting like nothing else happens in between. On the topic of time, I think the time period is well-established in many ways: the slang, the music references, the attitudes, the bombing especially since it can be pinpointed in time. I also like that they mention past things they still like, such as Bob Dylan, since it's more realistic not to just deal with what is currently popular. It's nice to see a bit of nostalgia in a nostalgic novel. I think the title itself is good because it has a pop culture reference as a Bob Dylan song and sets a real tone for the story to come. I was supremely pleased to see mention of journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" mentioned, both because of its status as one of my favorite songs and also because it is meaningful to the text on a level beyond simply being mentioned.

What I couldn't stand is the numerous errors. Winona Ryder's name is spelled differently in different parts of the book, and another celebrity's name is misspelled, both of which could be remedied with a quick visit to imdb.com or similar simple research. The errors of grammar and other spelling (I spotted the wrong "too" once, for example) could also stand to be fixed. Since I majored in writing in college, I realize the over-sprinkling commas are most likely stylistic, standing in for natural pauses, another manifestation of the uncertain, among other things. I think it does turn off a quantity of readers who may not realize this, so it's a gutsy decision that makes repeating the reasoning worth it. Still, there were some straight punctuation errors. There is even one or two in the author bio and blurb on the back cover.

Overall, I really liked this book. I can see beyond its shortcomings to a story that feels very natural emotionally to someone who has dated or tried to get advice and came up wanting. I saw myself in the characters and wanted the best for them because of it. I felt several times that i wished I had been a part of the scene as it happened, to have such haphazard control over my flailing life. I wanted to have friends who could accept me and give me their frankness instead of playing games to try to hide their hearts and ill choices in exchange for trying to act like the ideal is always achievable. The stringency of the rules and thorough discussions of such rules remind me of how important standards are in life and how the ones society sets forth mean little when we want something different. Just reading this book felt like that for me. I don't like the best-sellers--I crave something a bit more unique, more risk-taking. I found that in much of this book and hope others will as well.

Overall Rating:  4 of 5 Stars